One of the most powerful concepts offered to me during my time as a graduate student was regarding relationships and divorce, and specifically the ‘disillusionment model.’ In essence, this theory offers that couples often enter into marriage with an idealized view of their partner, as newlyweds are motivated to see their partner in a positive way. This is understandable, of course, and mostly an unconscious process. If you’ve just hitched yourself to someone for the remainder of your mortal life, he or she better be the bee’s knees. So the brains of engaged and newly married couples tend to emphasize the positive, and avoid or diminish conflicts and negative feelings within their relationship, making the world a beautiful place.
But then life sets in and, as the model’s name suggests, so does disillusionment. Read More.